Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Dirty House, Crazy Mary...

...that's not fair...my house is not dirty...but did you ever get yourself into the frame of mind that no matter how well anything goes, or how clean anything is...it's not clean... because you're mind makes it dirty... because your feels make it dirty...  because when you are not feeling the bestest and brightest...nothing is bright or best enough...

Thing 2 is crazy... it's not terrible 2's.. (pun intended) it's just her nature...she's a tornado of force and she is going to win... We pick our battles and I agree we are winning the war... but with the cluster-fuckery of last night...I mean REALLY?!?!

She's kind of a metaphorical bi-polar tornado of Dorothy Gale and The Wicked Witch of the East...  She tried to drop a house on her sister... you know, those Little People?  We have the Little People house... Thing 2 picked it up and tried to literally drop it on her sister while she was lying on the couch...  Houses and bruises and fights, OH MY!

What was really happening, she was smothering her with a day full of love that she has to push into a three hour period...  and when the summer comes, and they are together forever (forever only lasts from memorial day weekend to August 11th this year)...  they'll be sick of eachother...  Fine.

I feel like my toes are broken, I stubbed them BAD into the ottoman last night while carpet skiing across the living room care of a freshly discarded picture book.. yay me.  Between "Get OFF ME!"'s, and "Be QUIET"'s, and "I'm THIRSTY!"'s, and shit that popped off about something that I was hoping was dead and gone that won't stop rearing it's ugly, smug, egotistical, maniacal head...  I was done... I had to get an Ice pack for my foot... thing 2 thought it was her duty to pull it off my foot because it doesn't belong there, right?  15 minutes of agony and excruciatingly cold water and elevating, the foot was not swollen, it "looked" fine, but I needed pain killers to sleep... and I didn't even sleep cause the shit that popped off made my mind go like a freight train, and I don't know why I put myself through that every time that same old shit comes up... because nothing ever happens with it...because I'm not a coward...and that person is... nuff said?  Nuff said...

I said all that to say this...Amongst all that...nestled in the dank swamp of last night's events... was Thing 1's report card...  She has exceeded her Spring goals and has met her goals going into 4th grade next year.  Not only that, but it has been recommended when she starts 4th grade, they start her at 5th grade curriculum.  Her state test scores showed she tests at a 5th grade level...  OH my...  there is always a light at the end of the tunnel...and for this, she got to stay up and have a treat, watch some of a show with me and daddy and go to sleep after a much needed shower... she got her alone time...  priceless reward for such a good report card.  The behavior report was exceeds expectations and her participation was also.  That must be residual, me n choni weren't like that...  grandparents are to thank for that, I have no doubt 'bout it...  So now, my actual not so dirty house has an awesome husband who is trying to bring my car back to life after two days of battery issues because this here genius didn't turn the headlights off when we got our first afternoon in a LONG ASS TIME of dark cloudy weather and mist.. awesome... I am driving our van, our "new" car...  our newest car is 8 years old...  that's funny to me. Can't tell you why but it makes me laugh...  Hopefully not much longer... hopefully we will be downsizing when the next big Sale Weekend happens...  Been thinking on this one for MONTHS and I think we finally have it figured...Come end of May, Mama's got a brand new bag...

This morning I am lagging ass, coffee be damned...soda is next on the list... no walk, due to weather and toes.. still keeping an eye on them, foot is elevated and I am using the ice pack from lunch...  my lunch is safely nestled in the confines of our work fridge...  yay...  and I am still very proud of my Thing1... I think I need to save all this healthy worry I worked up for having my first child go to school... I have a feeling I'll need it in a few more years... hrmph...

Luckily, it's wednesday...and as much as I would like to think that I don't have much to do today because I don't have much to do and not because my boss FORGOT to give me my work... I'm going to enjoy my delusion while it lasts...  I gotta go, it's Dr. Pepper o'clock...

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Mulligan...

Generally, I don't find myself being one to use golf terms... but... 

Last weekend, NOT the best weekend.  Not that anyone died, or went bankrupt, or anything... maybe something INSIDE them died, and maybe someone went EMOTIONALLY bankrupt...  again...  NOT the best weekend.  

And even though the disturbing and upsetting events didn't necessarily happen to ME or Choni, they affected (infected) our family unit just the same. ... Because we care dammit!

Choni's got some upsetting news about his friend...that made him blah.

We went for a visit with my mother-in-law on saturday and basically dropped Thing 1 off with her to spend the night...and then Sunday was a blah day... the kind of day where you have a list of things to do...and there's 5 day things to do...and all 5 of those things don't go either A)The way they were supposed to B)The way you atleast hoped they would C)Didn't go at ALL.

Bummer...

But it wasn't my list it was my mom's, but I was there as one thing after another did NOT get checked off on a day that was already sucking for her.  

Bummer...

Big.Fat.Bummer.

So, Monday, we awoke, getting ready for the first after the time change, which also leaves everyone in a state of blah.  The morning became dark again.  That does not help my family of four get jazzed for the mornings...  We were late getting up and getting out of the house... the next day we were less late...the next day we were on time, this morning, we were early.  Yay us.  It only took us 4 days to get this down...

But Monday when we got up, and the maddening tornado of "Move! I'm late!" started...and in between the lines we knew... we knew our weekend pretty much sucked... it did... it sucked... I wanted a do-over... I think we deserve it. The way things have been on a bit of an upswing for us and we've doing our due diligence as good adults and grown ups and members of society...  we deserve a good weekend... a weekend full of good, positive, awesome vibes... 

Not to put the pressure on , but we will get what we want!!  Ha-haaa!

The plans for this weekend are starting to come together into something that one way or another, we will get things checked off our list, kids will be happy and we will go to sleep exhausted and fulfilled...one way or another.

That being said: a little catch up-

Thing 1 does not require a parent/teacher conference for the spring (as usual) and I am happy about that!  Thing 2 is talking her gibberish that gets more understandable each day.  She says SO many things, yet it is total gibberish... A few words are clear as day.  You can tell she wants to learn the words so badly and wants to communicate... One day, just like her sister, she'll be three years old, and Daddy and I will be on the cusp of a nervous breakdown from people telling us "She should be talking by now, my *insert toddler relative here* is just talking up a clear, concise, articulate storm of diction!" and then BOOM!  Fully blown conversations will erupt over night.  We're not worried, it's fine.

Thing 1 goes to an after school program and when she gets there, she is assigned a "teacher" and a "class room".  It's held at her school, so there's no transporting needed and she's already in a place she is familiar.  The staff is brought it in just for the after school program and if something happens with your child, these people will pull aside to talk to you.  That's never happened to me yet, and I always see the staff talking to the parents and telling them that their kid got a warning, or is on a second warning, or that they have had enough warnings that they will be considering dropping them from the program... always negative... never positive.  When I walked up to the room to get her the other day, a woman in a blue shirt rushed out the door to meet me and asked if I was Thing 1's mom... 

ME:  Uhm... yeah?

Miss B: OH Great! I'm Miss Brandy!  I just LOVE having her in my class.  She's a good reader.  I mean, she reads VERY well..?  **because it was almost a question...

ME:  Yes, she really does. She reads all the time.  I've read to her since she was very little and I read a lot, so she sees me do it and wants to be like Mommy, you know.

Miss B:  She puts inflection and voices into the reading out loud that we do in class, it just amazes me.  I just love her, she's so sweet!

ME: Yes, she really is.

Miss B: Well, it was GREAT to meet you finally!  I hear so many good things from her about her mom and dad and little sister!

ME: **Trying NOT to hide the shock and awe* Good to meet you, too, thanks!

See what I mean?  Things trod along just fine, and then a weekend of extreme less than mediocrity comes and bites us in the ass...and this after I spent a FULL week in bed with some such YUCKINESS i care NOT to ever repeat in my life and then another week of getting over that while trying to function at work and catch up...this week is REALLY the catch up week... 

I got my lens in the mail and all my fun purchases I made with the tax return...not able to enjoy it at all for about a week due to illness...it's like someone getting something you can't have, but you know you can in a few days or a week, but you STILL can't have it right now and that just sucks... First world problems right?  I know... sad but true... My new lens rocks!!  It's a Tamron, my lil cuz says it's the Civic of lenses... sweetness.  And I hate to admit how much of a different it really makes.  Cause it does...and I hate that because it makes something so expensive so necessary.

Daddy is looking at lighting and backgrounds systems that we can both use.  Funny how this is never how we intended to end up...a still and video photographer living under one roof**smiley face**

Ok, well that's enough from this end...  I just felt like we had SUCH A BLAH WEEKEND!!  MULLIGAN!!!!!

Thursday, February 13, 2014

How The Universe Can Piss You Off And Then Show You How Lucky You Are In One Fell Swoop...

I got to work today and it was going to be a great day... I didn't wear my watch today and I wore it yesterday and yesterday was a great day.  I thought to myself, stupidly, "Today's gonna suck cause I didn't wear my watch..."...

...I get a call from a co worker that just so happened to be later than usual this morning, the LAST person to get in the parking lot until people started lunch hours around 11am...

CW: Hey you probably know this already but your RR Tire is FLAT...

ME: What?!?  What do you mean FLAT?!?!

CW: OH! Sorry, I mean, F-L-A-T...  Hanging off the rim, no bueno flat.  You might want to come down here.

ME: (looking at the piles and piles of work on my desk and NOW worrying about my car resting on the rim and the fact that I just bought new tires 6 months ago and the CFO is leaving and I'm doing checks today instead of tomorrow and he's leaving in 30 minutes...29 minutes...28 minutes and oh my god OH MY GOD!!)  Uhm, yeah, I can't... I'll be down soon...

I powered through two days worth of work in 2 hours this morning so the CFO could leave early and be out tomorrow, which is generally the day I run the vendor checks.  I got it DONE... BOOM!!!

I ask my co-worker if she could watch the phones for a sec while I mosey on down to my car...

It was totally fucked off, and I wanted to cry, and vomit, and hug my Purple People Eater all at once...  I go into the warehouse, I have a friend out there.  It's DEAD out there today (actually NOT a good thing but good for ME at the time)... Ask mi amigo if he can help me out a second... "Of course!" Take him to my car and show him the tire, we get the jack and the tire iron out of the car, I was initially going to take the tire off the car, leave it jacked, go with SOMEONE and get the tire fixed and bring the tire back to put on the car...  I didn't have a donut on my car.  My car didn't come with one...and My father in law got me one that was used and it went bad real fast and it never got replaced. 

Mi Amigo finds a donut spare in my trunk...??????

...The last time something happened to my tires and I didn't handle it 100% myself, we were staying with my in-laws...  I was working, Choni was working and there was only Thing 1...  I took Choni's car, he took his dad's car, and Felipe kept MY car...he had Fridays off and wasn't working anyways... He put that there.  He put that donut spare there for me, cause he knew I wouldn't do it and he knew his son wouldn't do it and he knew I would need it...he knew WE would need it... He put that there for me.. a present to be had a later date, lest we knew he wouldn't be able to linger and help with these little chores any longer...

....

...

..
.

I couldn't even handle that.  I completely broke down at work...

I got my shit together, I took and "early" lunch to get my car business handled cause Amigo checked my spare, it was low.  He took it over to the RV place behind us and had it blown up some so I could go 2 miles to the tire chain in town where I got my tires... same chain, different store.  A patch job later, and I'm good to go.  AFTER the dude at the counter told me that hey would be replacing the tire cause there were razor blades wedged into it and it would cost me 10 bucks because I already had a warranty on the tires... this would replace the warranty with a new warranty on the new tire and there is a disposal fee...so I say, 10. 

I decided to venture and I went to JBox for breakfast... like I used to when me n Choni was in college n stuffs...

It was kinda nice... ish...  spent most of the time doing a play by play on my morning with Choni, JJ, and eating my sausage croissant combo...  NOT really how I wanted to spend my lunch hour but I got in a walk so I guess it sort of washes out...riiiight?!?  Right!  Okay... I get back to the place, just as I was about to make a dent in my book that I am neglecting because I'm all grown up 'n shit I get called up to take care of my business...  No charge, just a patch.. Jesus-pleasus...  I got my final paperwork and got the HELL outta there...

Came back to work to find out some stupid shit popped off while I was gone, but no biggie, it's all fine.  Also, found out a guy isn't here, that is detrimental to be getting a certain spreadsheet done in 45 minutes instead of 4-5hours...  and no one knew he'd be gone starting YESTERDAY and will be back Monday...  Uhm.. okay...

The Piles on my desk that I got rid of this morning were replaced with new piles.. but I couldn't get mad... cause how lucky I am really.

I am lucky, cause I work for a place that let me up and leave and take care of personal business in the middle of the damn morning...

I work for a place with cool people that help out a chick who is SWAMPED and doesn't have TIME to change the tire (let alone the will)... 

I didn't have to pay for a new tire, or a deductible on a new tire...

That shit went sideways AFTER I parked at work and NOT while I had my family in the car...

...And I had a Father In Law who, even now, is STILL watching over us...

And it's because of all that, I just ate my spaghetti lunch for "dinner" cause I am also going to get our taxed done after work and I won't be home in time to sit down to dinner with my hunnies... but I get to have some later, so there's that...

...And speaking of cake, anybody else come home to a freshly baked cake yesterday? Hands? Anyone?  No?? Just me?... Ok then...

Monday, February 3, 2014

Hold Me Closer, Tiny Dancer...

I have no idea what to do with this...


She's doing exactly what you think she is doing...

PliƩ...using Noni's end table as a Barre...

I got a girlie girl supreme...  Tutus and dresses and barrettes that cover her entire head like a crown are my life for the FIRST time in my whole life.  Thing 1 was not this way.  She patronized her grandmother with the fufu dresses, the gloves, the ruffle socks, the ribbons in the hair with every color in them coordinating with her exact ensemble...

But YOU had to do it... YOU had to ask her if she wanted it, if she wanted to wear the fufu... and usually she said no..It became one of those things where she would say, "But that's what I wear at grandma's, that's not for home."

Damn...

That doesn't mean, though, that this Tomboy doesn't have a few tricks up her sleeves... I have a way that we can have our cake and eat it too... Thing 2 likes frilly dresses and grabs them with gusto to get dressed in the morning...Like this...

Oy vey...how was I supposed to leave this today?  It's not easy, I tell ya.

I can't believe I actually found a cute little ruffly tutu legging combo thing in the clearance rack at Target for $6...  HAD to get that for my girlie girl... Thing 1... well, she's 8 1/2 going on 30... so she's fine with her Kindle books. 

My baby is not a baby, I have a toddler.  NO matter how we slice it, she's a big girl now...  She has her specificities with things, she's not much for words, but that doesn't mean she's not paying attention to everything you're doing at any given time.  Because SHE IS!  I have slowly started the move from silicone sippy cups to hard plastic sippy and with everything else so far she is making the change like a trooper...maybe I"M not the one ready for her to leave the crib behind, but I love the replacement crib I got her and she loves it, too.  There are some things that will need to go on in the not too distant future as far as making a large bedroom fit for two girls of such different ages... but not right this very second.  I'm enjoying this stage, drinking in the last drink before I quit cold turkey in the morning, so to speak.

Last baby, and we're done... No mas bebes... and it's sad.  It is, even the mister said it was sad...but then he gets all logical on me and rational about how there are so many firsts we have to look forward to and that's what she be focusing on...damn him... and his perfectly reasonable logic.

We are still toting a stroller everywhere, because I would rather push a stroller than pull a toddler.  She gets plenty of running around time in the backyard these days.  Especially with this bullshit, crazy ass weather... I'm already considering bathing suits for these two.

We'll be dusting off and pulling out the ol' potty trainer soon too...but I think we'll wait a little while longer before that trauma begins... Not gonna lie... I'll probably bawl my eyes out when I pull the last diaper out of the diaper box...  good thing those bad boys are so absorbent...

You Can't Take It With You...

It's a new year and with that, a new budget, and with that, new worry and stress...

But one of my new mantra's for this year is "You Can't Take It With You"...

That can be a dangerous line of thinking for some people, but the way that I keep the belts tight around my house...THAT can be just as dangerous...

I love my best friends, they're exactly the people that a person needs to keep their head on straight.  They BOTH asked me"Why are you being SUCH a tight wad? What are you saving for?"

And they're both right, nothing really.  Retirement, but now I have a 401k and after one year of rolling on it, I'm ready to bump up my percentage and the fact that I was able to save what I was able to save last year speaks volumes for our spending habits and our ability to save money while still entertaining ourselves and feeding and clothing...

That being said, I am very excited about our upcoming vacation... weekend off really, but for us it'll be a full blown vacation.  We don't do this, ever...  It takes me back to the days when we were together, not married, but living together...and it's been stronger lately due SOLELY to the fact that we recently repainted our bathroom.  You may or may not know, but you know when you get into a new apartment and they repaint and there's the new paint smell, covering the OLD apartment smell, but there's that new paint smell for awhile?  And it takes forever for the scents in your future to kill it?  Yeah, it smells like that in my bedroom right now.  And it's pretty wonderful.  Takes me back to a place that was wonderful...when everything was SO NEW and SO EXCITING...  our first cable bill was something to dine out on, seriously... getting our first decorations for our first holidays together... so exciting...and that spring clean air is back with a vengeance.  It also doesn't help that we are experiencing more like a spring with the weather.  Winter is no more, and our brains are fried due to it.  Because seriously, we are NOT happy with the warm.  We want rain, we want cold... there's a drought a looming..and it's really ominous for us right now... 

We are so not there anymore, though...w e are not apartment hopping, we are home owners... we are not car shopping...we are car bought and paid for... so really, what ARE we saving for if nothing more than just things for our house and things for the cars and what not?  so I am trying not to be so down on myself when I need to make a 100 dollar trip to walmart because in reality it's been a while since I had gone and everything just so happened to run out at the same time.  Or like this weekend, when I realized I am in fact getting older and getting on my hands and knees and cleaning the bathroom floor is no longer a realistic way to clean.  Sponge mop time, time to go to walmart... or tartget... or wherehaveyou...  so there's that...  and ma's bday and then it's our anniversary and then it's mothers day, and father's day and his bday and thing 1's bday...and on and on and on...so I'm not trying to freak out too much because I keep forgetting we did the thing we were planning to do with our money and we're really good at keeping it in the bank...so when I go to get my hair trimmed this Saturday, I shouldn't feel bad about spending that money...  I'm not taking food off the table, or clothes off the backs.  We left the heater on for a full 24 hours and where I would usually be FTFO, I literally didn't give not TWO shits... and I was pretty happy about that. I was happy I was able to NOT give TWO shits...that mop I bought? it broke, as me if I care right now?  Not really, I'm going to put in for a manufacturer return and all that dumb shit, but I'm still not bummed that I won't see a red cent for 6-8 weeks if they decide to refund me... It's inconvenient, but no one's gonna miss that $8.48 right this second.

Weird to be here at this point in life, though.  Not gonna lie...

I took my mum to breakfast for her bday... and I paid the bill...and I walked away... cause you can't take it with you...and I had to go to the store for peppers, and I got her flowers...from the super market...  cause you can't take it with you...And those 10 Tulips made her SO happy... and that was worth every penny.  I'm going to get my hair cut, go to Target and get a better mop and I'm getting Marysu a tutu in every color cause she's a twirler...and we'll still be eating and saving and driving on gas we'll be able to buy...

Did you ever know anyone from the Depression?  Old people, grandparents, whatever they are to you that lived through it and never got over it? Never got over the need to hoard because they knew in a way that no one else knew that at any second you could lose the opportunity to buy more or have more?  I had that type of upbringing, so to speak, so I'm a McScrooger as a result...but we live within our means and that allows us certain liberties...  But people have no idea that absolute MindFuck that happens to me everytime I have to get something for the house and I didn't "plan" on it... dumb, I know this.  I didn't say I was sane... EVER...  so there...

And I can't wait for our vacation ;)  And so expels the crazy...

The Kennedy Chronicles: The Golden Era of MTV Through Rose Colored Glasses

Generally as a rule of thumb I do not ask for books for presents... usually it gets screwed up somehow and I don't like to be disappointed and I make another general rule to not be...so I don't set myself up for it by telling people to get me books...or music.. Even with a list people somehow get it wrong...  And the mister KNOWS this... He has the same rules.  Christmas can be a pain the ass, gift giving in general that is.  Mostly it's to do with wanting to get someone EXACTLY what they want, EXACTLY how they want it because you love them and want to make them happy.  Therefore, shopping with PICTURES of shit on my phone so as to get the right gift takes the piss out of gift giving, surprises, and the occasion in general. 

I am so happy to be with someone that feels the confidence in throwing that caution to the wind and get me books... It's pretty amazing looking at yourself through someone else's eyes.. I loved opening those books, realizing what they were, and realizing that based on the person he sees when he sees me, he thought that these were great choices...He was absolutely right!  So right in fact, I have to tell you bout how good the Kennedy book was...and no... Not JFK Kennedy... Lisa Kennedy Montgomery of MTV. 

One day, in 1997 I turned on MTV, saw Carson Daly's mugging poser face...and I turned the channel for once and for all.  I was done.  I felt it, I felt a disturbance in the force.  I wasn't one of these drooling, mindless, MTV-ites that only ever watched what was channel 34 on my parents JC Penney console special.  My older sister had it on, I preferred movie channels.  But that doesn't mean I didn't caught up in some of the hoopla.  I remember where I was when I first saw certain videos and what I was doing when m y sister and her best friends (who were irish-twins) were playing phone tag. 

"Oh my gawd, call me when you see the video come on!"

"Ok, but YOU call ME if YOU see the video come on!"

"Like totally!"

"Totally, ok!"

...this happened summer of '90 when Bryan Adams was burning up the airwaves with his hot and steamy Robin Hood song... And Christian Slater was in the movie, and he had one scene that made it into the video...and THAT was enough for the above conversation to take place.  Plus it was THE skating rink couples song of the summer.

Anyways, so that was my exposure and that was why I had it.  When I got to 8th grade, I had curly, kinky, frizzy, Irish Gypsy hair...and thanks to FUCKING ALICIA SILVERSTONE it was so not "in" that year... bitch.

I also had a realization that I would forever been entombed in 4 eyes mode so I started to have the fun with the glasses that big sis was having since our Ma worked at an eye dr's office and got KILLER deals on frames... like, Free.99 and shit.

Hence, the Kennedy look started and I didn't even realize I was doing it, and sis looked the same... so when I got the High School I was her mini-me...and the Kennedy moniker was passed down to include me. 

That all being said: I have always felt a weird connection to Kennedy.  I mentioned ONCE or TWICE that people called me and sis Kennedy in HS, and my hubby took that and ran with it to get me this book that rocked my world.  It was everything I wanted to know about what I also believe to be the Hay Day of MTV and just the way I wanted to know it!  People were reviewing this book and bitching about the grammar... dude, really?  This isn't an English Paper and it's written in the way that she speaks, I felt more like she was speaking to me than I was reading some paper.  Structure for sure has a time and place. I get it... but still, I am not sitting there and making notes, I'm sorry.  I was more interested in the non-penetrative steamy session she had with Dave Navarro... Jesus pleasus... it was a great book and what I really enjoyed the most was how I came around to it, through Choni... just made me love him more, like I couldn't anyways, you know?  What really makes it MORE awesome, is that he doesn't read... He reads articles, and he reads the internets... he's not a book reader.  I feel like that helps us fit better because I'm not as avid a magazine reader as he is...Fangoria and Spin used to be my bread and butter and then I got a Rolling Stone subscription and we were hooked on that for a spell..but between us the one that read the MOST and remembered it was him.  Good thing too, there were some good articles I all but forgot.  Now I'm about to start Empire of the Sun because there is something bout that movie that makes him think of me and my dad's family when he watches it...and I get it too... I really do...and I used to watch that movie when it was on Showtime ALL summer long with my sis...  Now it's found new life and new reason and I'm about to dive into the book!! 

I've read SO MANY books that were movies later, I know what to expect, I know not to disappoint myself, I know that JG Ballard was working on the film with Spielburg and that sometimes things aren't aesthetically pleasing and that's what filmmaking is all about, artistic liberties.  I'm ready, bring me to WWII Shanghai, Jim...

Dream Casting: Highlander

Now now now...don't get me WRONG... there is NOTHING the matter with the Highlander as it stands.  In my humble opinion that film has ONE home and that's the 80's...the cheesey, over the top, Queen is the soundtrack, 80's.  But if you're me and my mister, you can't watch the movie without wondering... could you make this today? 

Not too far back I heard an absurd rumor that "They" were looking at Ryan Reynolds to rehash the Christopher Lambert role...I'm BREATHING okay, I like me some Ryan Reynolds, but as The Highlander?!  Can I be a little cheesey myself here for a second and say, "There can be only one..."

However, that doesn't mean that a discussion didn't get had, and a list didn't get made... so I present you with Dream Casting: Highlander Edition.

Connor MacLeod:   Paul Bettany

Roxanne Hart:   Olivia Wilde

The Kurgan:   Tom Hardy (or Manu Bennett)

Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez:   Liam Neeson

Heather MacLeod:   Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

...and so on and so forth...  and now you want to watch that don't you?