Wednesday, October 17, 2012

If You Are Going To Be An Asshole At 4:30am You Need To Be Really Cute Doing It...

...So says the demon who came in the window and stole my baby Marysu...

Yeah, that's what was going on in our house... That's fine.  She can have a night or two here and there.  And that's really what it's been.  A night or two here and there.  But come on folks, what do you remember?  Do you remember the nights you got sleep or the nights you didn't?

Just ask Choners... He remembers EVERYTHING.  With exception, he remembers more sleepless nights than not.  But I chock it up to, he's a Dad...

Hey, it's what helps ME sleep at night... bah-dum-ch...

I just remember laying in bed, hearing whining...then the whining stopped.  and the long procession of "Ptththhhththhtht..." began...and apparently, more whining...and then Dad got up... the whining stopped... he laid down... it started again...  He surrendered at Appomatox and the Yanks were cheering... or I shall say... blowing raspberries at the defeated.

Then I get a picture of the Winner...alseep in her high chair... So, really... Winner? or Loser?  I think Daddy lost the battle, but won the war...  muahahahahahaha...

It's little things like this that make being a parent awesome...

Really...

Oh and manipulation...  I don't usually like manipulation.. I think it's sneaky...  I like things straight forward.  But Harley is a brain ninja sometimes... so I have to play dirty.

I needed her to get her work done early so we can go see Nina on Friday while she is town!!  YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!  The usual niceties weren't working... wah-wah-waaahhh...  I wanted the visit to be a surprise... but behold.. My child doesn't really give you the opportunity for surprise.  Something always comes along that causes you to blow the surprise right out of the water.  I have come to accept this for the most part.  So, I finally told her,"Ok here's the deal smarty pants.  You need to do two days worth of your homework packet tonight so that we can go see Nina cause she's in town..." 

The packet is done.

The End.

Kids are awesome dammit...  no matter what anybody says...

Friday, October 12, 2012

There I go, NOT speaking English again...

After repeating myself for the hundredth time to the four hundredth customer, I decided I must not be speaking English...
Amazing, I MUST be a genius...  And I didn't even KNOW IT!
Because why else would so many people ask me so many times if they called the right company?
You'd be surprised how many people don't call the right company...
They meant to call SEARS collections or the phone company in their part of rural Alabama (which is nowhere near me, notice the incredibly small percentage of times you see me type "ya'll")...

If I had a toddler attempting to speak in my house I would get it.
My baby doesn't talk... She doesn't even walk.. yet.  And I stress the "yet".

Marysu is 8 months and some odd days... lets say 8 and a half months and call it a day.  Fine? Fine.  Great, grand, wonderful.

And we're about to close the baby factory.  So all these cute little holy-shit-oh-dear-God things she is doing lately, we are freaking out over.  And Harley is freaking out, too.  Which is cool and all, but I thought I was going to find a finger on the ground when Harley came into the bathroom whilst I was occupying it and said,"Mom you gotta come see this!" 

No finger, it was merely the baby... playing with toys that Harley had set out on the coffee table.  But she was standing on her own, not leaning.  Wow.  That WAS a big'un.  Then last night she did it again, and me n daddy were freaking out.  Then she did the cutest thing ever, she danced.  We were watching Dark Shadows.  You know, good wholesome family viewing.
There is a montage and the song made Marysu dance.  She was standing in front of the coffee table, but was looking alongside it, not across from it.  The TV had her attention, but more so the song that was playing.  Her attention was better paid to the mound of Cheerios on the table.  Her left arm was keeping her balance, her body was faced to the side of the table and her right hand was grabbing Cheerios.  Basically, she was merely using the table as a crutch.  And bouncing.  She was bouncing to the music...  I couldn't believe it.  It was the most adorable thing ever.  And not one damned camera in sight!  What the hell is that about? 

There are so many cameras in my house I couldn't believe there wasn't one to capture this!  And when kids realize you think they are doing something awesome and are scrambling for a picture... they stop.  It's the universal law of children vs. photography of any kind.  So, I got ahold of my phone, and boom... no more dancing.  As if someone hit a button and her brain and body stopped.  Dammit.  Oh well.

Tomorrow we have Saturday "off".  No plans, no trips, no nothing.  I was stunned when I got the news from Choni that we would NOT be doing anything spectacular... Uhm... Okay...  Well, it's cooler.. so what better way to spend a cool day in a small house than to bake cookies!  I went and spent a whole day online checking out recipes for cut out cookies.  What else would you suggest I do with a box of 100 cookie cutters? 

Last year, well, the year before I SHOULD say, we made these cookies and homemade frosting and did the whole shebang.  It was fun AND delicious and Harley has been asking since to do it again.  Well, I had gestational diabetes last holiday season.  I don't recommend that basically... so because my husband is not a dick, he decided against any baking and promised we will doubly make it up this year.

And we already ARE!  Yay!  He got the few missing ingredients, because my cupboards are bake-tastic and tonight I make the dough and fridge it for baking tomorrow.  Then I will set out my little bowls and do different colored frostings so we can make the dinos green and fire trucks red and so on...

It's going to be a blast and I am sure we won't spend ALL day doing it, so I'm trying to figure out what else we can do other than clean.  But the obvious Go To here is clean. 

My house is not clean. It's not clean to my standards anyways.  It's no one's fault but our own.  And by ours I mean MINE.  Last year I was pretty much depressed during the last part of my pregnancy.  Getting the GD during the holidays really messed with me.  My days were so incredibly boring with the eating the same old thing day in and day out, telling time by what I ate and when and taking my blood sugar.  I realize people do this all the time, but I was pregnant and FULL of hormones... WAAAAYYY too many hormones...  My F.I.L was dying...  I wondered if would be able to see Marysu.. I wanted him to so badly.. and he did.  That's an answered prayed... check...  Choni was still trying to get piddly jobs... and he was dealing with his dad and with me and worrying about me and the unborn.  Harley was doing her first year in 1st grade, her first year with REAL homework and REAL schoolyard play and what-not.  I stopped caring about the house... Choni tried so hard to keep up with everything.  Things are okay, but I used to keep the house up better when I cared.  So now, baby is out, we are getting a new routine going now that we are not rushing to the inlaws every weekend to spend time while we have it.  It's more like, we go to keep Gma company.  And soon she won't necessarily require that anymore...  like tomorrow.  She is SO busy with things she is doing we are skipping our weekend trip.

That is really good news.  That means she is coping really well...  Which is great... I am so happy for her.  I am happy for me too, cause now I clean my house...  a step at a time. I am not climbing Everest in a day.  We need to clean the inside and outside of our windows, I need to clean out the tracks of the sliding windows and doors... I need to mop and sweep and vacuum, but into the cracks of things.  I can't tell you the last time the "cracks" were done.  It's been awhile.  I used to get in the bathrooms and scrub the floors on my hands and knees... Haven't done that in a while...

I wonder how I did all this the "last time"... you know, with Harley.
Well, I didn't.
I lived with my in-laws and everything was, "Oh no, you sit there, I'll do it..."
"Oh no, I'll change the baby, you finish up whatever you were doing..."
and so on.
It was awesome... and I didn't have to do any of my own housework until Harley was a year old and we moved.  Then I started cleaning again.  But Harley at 1 year is NOT the same as any Harley before. 

I figured it would happen this way, so I haven't been letting it get to me too badly.  I used to clean the house on the days that Harley went to Gma and Gpa's house and spent the night.  But she doesn't do that anymore, I'm not sure how that's going to work, but we'll figure it out.  Now I need to do what most people do...figure out how to clean the house with both kids in the house :)  Yay!  Ahem, Sarcasm...

But as with all things, we'll figure it out.  We always do...and I know that.  Which is another reason why I try not to let things bother me like they do.  Because we always figure it out.  And now that I have said that twice too many, I will look forward to the day when I can set the kids down to do what will keep them busy long enough to clean something... it's coming soon I can feel it. 

I already put the baby gate up in their room and locked Harley and Marysu in there to play.  It worked pretty well until Marysu realized I wasn't in there with them anymore.  That was not happy making for her.  I went in there and cleaned and it worked pretty well that way.  SO now I know I can tackle their room with them in there.  Battle: WON!! 

It seems like we are days from Mary's 1st bday.  It's her fault.  She's growing up too damned fast...  Dammit...  She eats foods...  she has 6 teeth... she stands... she tries to walk...  she baby-babble-talks...  I almost want to tell her to "get up and get it yourself"...  She wore an actual outfit for the first time yesterday because it was cold for the first time yesterday...  she looked so grown up **sad face** 

Now that I have gone on way too long...  I leave you with this...  Marysu's dance song...